{"id":462,"date":"2013-05-28T11:25:41","date_gmt":"2013-05-28T15:25:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/willistonblogs.com\/speeches\/?p=462"},"modified":"2013-05-28T13:56:19","modified_gmt":"2013-05-28T17:56:19","slug":"commencement-address-by-john-katzenbach","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/willistonblogs.com\/speeches\/2013\/05\/28\/commencement-address-by-john-katzenbach\/","title":{"rendered":"Commencement Address by John Katzenbach"},"content":{"rendered":"

Editor\u2019s note: The following speech was presented by John Katzenbach during the 172nd Commencement Exercises at the Williston Northampton School on May 26, 2013.<\/em><\/p>\n

Good morning\u2026<\/p>\n

I was delighted to be asked to stand in for the Ambassador from Colombia at this graduation. After all \u2013 what is a graduation speech? Mostly it is an opportunity for older folks to exhort younger people with all sorts of incredibly heartfelt and probably utterly useless advice. But \u2013 that said\u00a0\u2013 You are \u2013 for better or worse \u2013 the classic captive audience. That is, it is my sincere belief that until Bob Hill actually hands you that diploma it is unlikely you will flee from this ceremony, regardless of what I say.<\/p>\n

So, my first thought in putting this talk together was\u00a0\u2013 obviously: What would the ambassador from Colombia tell you?<\/p>\n

This was easy: One: Learn Spanish \u2013 a very useful language.
\nAnd two: Be diplomatic.<\/p>\n

Diplomacy \u2013 as a general rule\u00a0\u2013 is not the strongest suit for writers like myself. We prefer being controversial, which is more or less the opposite of diplomacy. And, if we can\u2019t be controversial, well, outrageous sometimes works for us. In addition, I suspect diplomacy is probably a skill lost on most of you guys. There\u2019s simply not much call for it until you get older. In fact, I cannot recall any instances of me being compelled towards reason and ready to compromise when I was a teenager \u2013 even if that was like a century ago. So I would recommend all of you trying to put off being diplomatic in almost any regard for as long as you can. Keep in mind, I said diplomatic, not polite.<\/p>\n

Minimum ten years. Fifteen is better.
\nThen re-assess.<\/p>\n

This should occur right around the time you get the job you\u2019ve always wanted, met someone truly special and fallen in love and start thinking about marriage. Take it from me\u00a0\u2013 this is when the whole concept of compromise suddenly becomes significantly more relevant.<\/p>\n

But that should be pretty far off for you. Like way in the distance.
\nBut\u2026 to get back to the whole graduation advice-thing\u2026<\/p>\n

In fact, it\u2019s my sorry opinion that advice from writers is usually pretty useless \u2013 as it is highly specific and tailored for unique circumstances. In my case, let\u2019s see: I could fill you with wise suggestions were you suddenly being pursued by a serial killer who longs for notoriety \u2013 that\u2019s my latest book. Or perhaps, you would like to know what to do if being stalked by an obsessed boyfriend? I can help you with that. Maybe you would like to know what course you should take if you were kidnapped by a pair of internet-savvy psychopaths? If so, I\u2019m your guy.<\/p>\n

And \u2013 I promise \u2013 only a few of my recommendations would involve large caliber handguns and modestly depraved thinking.<\/p>\n

So, let\u2019s start from the proposition that what I \u2013 or just about any fiction writer \u2013 would say is somewhat problematic. And, it\u2019s not just us modern authors. Do you think Dickens would have stood up here and told you graduates \u201cLook, it might be a far, far better thing he goes to do\u2026 for Charles Darnay \u2013 that\u2019s in a Tale of Two Cities \u2013 but generally speaking try to avoid the guillotine and people who might want to put you there\u2026\u201d Or do you suppose, F. Scott would have said, \u201cGraduates\u2026 Maybe you shouldn\u2019t emulate Gatsby all that much because things don\u2019t work out so great for him at the end\u2026\u201d You can even go back further in literary history: Imagine Homer giving you advice. Big white beard and skinny toga, lyre in hand\u2026wouldn\u2019t he start with something like, \u201cWell if someone leaves a gift on your doorstep, something like a real big wooden horse that makes strange clanking, armor-like sounds from within, maybe you should re-consider bringing it inside your home\u2026\u201d
\nActually \u2013 that might be good advice.<\/p>\n

But\u2026
\nThere\u2019s always a \u2018but\u201d in speeches like this\u2026<\/p>\n

The point is, you\u2019re graduating, heading off to college, extraordinary adventures and the rest of your life, leaving Willy behind, taking a big step forward into an uncertainty that\u2019s both exciting and a little daunting\u00a0\u2013 and darn it, it\u2019s my job to stand up here and say something inspiring.<\/p>\n

To this end, and having already exhausted my entire Ambassador from Colombia chain of thought \u2013 I did what any writer would do.<\/p>\n

Google.<\/p>\n

Here are the five most common themes of graduation speeches. I presume these are what I was told, either at my prep school or college graduations \u2013 but alas, I cannot now recall what was said on either occasion. Nor can I remember who said it \u2013 which is I believe is pretty much par for the course.<\/p>\n

1) Don\u2019t be afraid to fail.
\n2) Remember that you are the future.
\n3) Always respect your parents.
\n4) Never stop learning.
\n5) Follow your dreams.<\/p>\n

Okay \u2013 a little deconstruction, if you will.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t be afraid to fail\u2026\u201d
\nWell, why not? A little fear can be really helpful, because it provides perspective. Keeps you out of trouble at dicey moments. Helps you to keep your mouth shut and your eyes wide open at opportune times. And failure is not always a bad thing, although I\u2019m not recommending it with frequency. A couple of failures make the successes sweeter. But \u2013 with that caveat — if you have a choice, let\u2019s stick with successes. In fact, if you can go through life without any failures at all, I\u2019d say that\u2019s quite an accomplishment. Let\u2019s shoot for that status, okay, even though we know it will be impossible to attain. So, we should change this lesson to: \u201cDon\u2019t be afraid to succeed and greet failures as the imposters they are.\u201d That has a much nicer sound to it.<\/p>\n

\u201cRemember that you are the future\u2026\u201d
\nWell, what about last year\u2019s graduating class? And the class before that? Weren\u2019t they the future, too? And that doesn\u2019t even include next year\u2019s class. Seems to me you\u2019ll all have to get together on this future thing. Meanwhile, of course, being the mature, educated folks that the rest of us are, we\u2019ll just continue wrecking it for you. There\u2019s a challenge I\u2019m certain you are up for. Fixing all of our mistakes. Sorry. On behalf of everyone here who graduated some time ago \u2013 where we were probably told we were the future — let me now apologize.<\/p>\n

\u201cRespect your parents\u2026\u201d Well, okay. It would be pretty rude of me to get up here and suggest you not respect your parents. Respect \u2013 as a concept \u2013 is odd. Nothing should be automatic. Someone telling you to respect something or someone rarely has much impact. People \u2013 like athletes \u2013 are always talking about how respect is \u201cearned.\u201d That\u2019s not exactly true because the reasons for respecting others constantly shift. So, in reality, respect is something that comes from within you. It\u2019s about the internal posture you create. You will make the decisions about what you feel deserves honor, compassion, affection and loyalty.<\/p>\n

Of course\u2026 all that said, please, please, please respect your parents. And grandparents. And siblings (even if that\u2019s sometimes tough). And teachers. And law enforcement. Firemen. Military guys and gals. Auto mechanics. Coaches. Groundskeepers. Waiters and waitresses and folks in service industries. Everybody that helped get you through Williston. And if I\u2019ve left anyone else off the list, respect them, too. Actually \u2013 and here\u2019s a dirty little secret: it\u2019s easier to start out respecting all people \u2013 and then wait for them to lose your respect. Doesn\u2019t happen a lot. But it will from time to time. Be ready for it.<\/p>\n

\u201cNever stop learning\u2026\u201d Right. As if someone needs to tell you this. When you stop learning, you calcify. If you happen to look down one day and realize you\u2019ve stopped learning, there are really only two viable possibilities: 1) You\u2019ve died and are on your way to heaven. 2) You\u2019ve been elected to public office. Especially congress.<\/p>\n

And lastly, my favorite:
\n\u201cFollow your dreams\u2026\u201d
\nNow \u2013 I don\u2019t know how many of you have heard of Sigmund Freud\u2019s dream theories \u2013 this is all about Id, ego, super-ego and how different parts of our psychological make-up protect us from the worst impulses we have. Dreams are \u2013 well difficult. They represent wish fulfillment \u2013 and not the sorts of wishes you would actually wish upon anyone. I mean \u2013 try to recall your last actual dream. A tad bit unsettling, I would imagine.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a wonderful sequence in C.S. Lewis\u2019s extraordinary children\u2019s book The Voyage of the Dawn Treader<\/em> where the adventurers come across an island \u201cwhere dreams come true.\u201d And \u2013 of course, their first instinct is that this is the place where their fantasies and day-dreams come to life. It is only when a terrified, haunted inhabitant of the island warns them of their foolishness \u2013 it is a place where actual dreams become real\u00a0\u2013 that they realize their mistake and barely escape with their psyches intact.<\/p>\n

This is \u2013 I think \u2013 the best literary description of Freud\u2019s theories on paper anywhere.
\nSo \u2013 for goodness sakes\u2019 don\u2019t follow your dreams.<\/p>\n

We need to substitute something for that word.
\nHopes?
\nAspirations?
\nReasonable beliefs based upon solid expectations?<\/p>\n

That doesn\u2019t have much of a ring to it, does it?<\/p>\n

I mean, I doubt any graduation speaker ever got up and said to the assembly: \u201cFollow your reasonable beliefs, modest hopes and firmly-grounded aspirations based upon solid expectations backed up by concrete evidence that you can readily identify and which should be apparent to others.\u201d<\/p>\n

Nor would any speaker be likely to tell you: \u201cFollow your day-dreams,\u201d because that would certainly sound like he was recommending laziness and a less than diligent, hard-working, nose to the grindstone approach to life. After all, a day-dreamer is seen as a negative, no?<\/p>\n

Okay. Actually, one speaker would tell you to do that: Me.<\/p>\n

A million years ago, when dinosaurs roamed the earth and I was in prep school \u2013 a place geographically located in Exeter, New Hampshire, but I forget the name of the school\u00a0\u2013 this was the pejorative I was assigned by an unimaginative dean right around the time I was placed on academic and social probation for like the hundredth time before I graduated \u2013 which I just barely managed.<\/p>\n

He thought he was being critical. Harsh. Realistic. Telling me the hard truth, right along with letting me know I would never amount to anything in life.<\/p>\n

I felt the opposite. I thought it was a compliment. And happily\u00a0\u2013 it worked out okay for me.
\nWriting fiction is acknowledging the power of day-dreams. Writers just don\u2019t talk about it all that much.<\/p>\n

So \u2013 as long as we\u2019re still in the lesson-mode here, what I would tell you is imagine what you can be. Don\u2019t put any limits on that bit of brain energy. Picture yourself in days to come and see the road in front of you. Don\u2019t worry if it is obscure and even hidden and maybe even difficult. It\u2019s there. You just have to search it out. Then follow that path and see where it leads you. While it might not be what you envisioned or even expected, and probably contains some pretty surprising twists and turns, I suspect it will be someplace truly interesting.<\/p>\n

Okay \u2013 that\u2019s some actual advice. I\u2019m not going to characterize it as either good or bad. That\u2019s up for you to determine.<\/p>\n

Couple that with the little bit from our fictional Homer about wooden horses and the inadvisability of bringing them home, and you should be good to go.<\/p>\n

But \u2013 in an effort to fulfill the requirements of an actual graduation speech \u2013 and sadly realizing that Google didn\u2019t help me all that much \u2013 I was forced to turn to arguably the best, wisest, most Yoda-like source of advice for Williston graduates.
\nThat would be: other Williston graduates.<\/p>\n

These come from Boston, New York, Miami, Los Angeles, Chicago and Tokyo. They range from a couple of years out \u2013 to more than a decade. They work in film, television, business, law, academia. What I asked these guys and gals was simple: If you could pass on any advice to a graduating senior \u2013 and assuming you could do this in private \u2013 with no faculty, parents, siblings or anyone else listening in, what would you say?
\nSome have been edited to avoid\u2026 well, flagrant, original and quite rampant obscenities\u2026<\/p>\n

There were modest suggestions:<\/p>\n

\u201cDrive slow. Wear your seat belt. Enjoy the view.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDuring the summers, don\u2019t get an internship in an office. Get one in Yellowstone. Or, better yet, Hawaii\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMajor in whatever you want. Minor in something useful, but major in whatever you want\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

This came from a guy: \u201cNever date a girl for more than one year.\u201d
\nCuriously, this came from a girl: \u201cNever date a guy for more than one year.\u201d<\/p>\n

And the law school grad suggested: \u201cOnly sign once a year contracts.\u201d<\/p>\n

More observations on life post Williston:<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you are going to the University of Kentucky or the University of Arizona, you are in luck: You will continue to be a Wildcat. The rest of you will have to learn a new mascot.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c\u201dBe an \u2018and\u2019 person, not an \u2018or\u2019 person. \u2018And\u2019 is inclusive and expansive, it broadens choices and horizons. \u2018Or\u2019 carries with it an exclusive sentiment; it separates, divides and segments. Reserve \u2018or\u2019 for your postmodernism essays and critical writings; in life, I wish you a safe and exciting journey. I wish you both coleslaw and fries, not coleslaw or fries.\u201d<\/p>\n

Here is a sentiment that came from more than one grad:
\n\u201cWilliston is harder than college\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Several quotes of significance came in:<\/p>\n

From Thomas Jefferson: \u201cI find that the harder I work, the luckier I am\u2026\u201d
\nFrom the great Brazilian philosopher, Edison Arantes do Nascimento (those of you on the soccer teams will more quickly recognize his nom du pitch as Pele): \u201cSuccess is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

(Let\u2019s add one more from the same source, very deep and very wise: \u201cA penalty is a cowardly way to score.\u201d)<\/p>\n

More advice:
\n\u201cTurn off your cell phone at least once a day.\u201d
\n\u201cIt\u2019s okay to be the underdog, but it\u2019s not okay to be under-prepared.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThank your teachers. Remarkably, the older you get, the smarter your teachers become\u2026 and stay in touch with them. You will enjoy this and they will appreciate it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAlways have a sense of humor. Always have a designated driver, take a cab or walk. Paint the lion. Study a martial art. Remember: pro wrestling is fake.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t take Friday classes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBoomshakalaka, boomshakalaka\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

(That one confused me, as well. Some might recall it from Sly and the Family Stone\u2019s 60\u2019s hit \u201cI want to take you higher.\u201d Others might think it connects to the electronic game NBA Jam. Regardless, I pass it on in the unlikely hope that it will mean something to someone here\u2026)<\/p>\n

And finally, one to end on, from a young person with an enviable job in the literary world, where they are carving out quite a reputation\u2026<\/p>\n

\u201cIt gets better.\u201d<\/p>\n

In that short phrase, there are remarkable truths. It\u2019s not really advice, is it? Really, more a promise. We could be speaking about something as simple as the weather, as complicated as what awaits us around the corner of life. But, it seems to me, a good phrase to keep in mind, not just today, but tomorrow and the day after, as well.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Editor\u2019s note: The following speech was presented by John Katzenbach during the 172nd Commencement Exercises at the Williston Northampton School on May 26, 2013. Good morning\u2026 I was delighted to be asked to stand in for the Ambassador from Colombia at this graduation. After all \u2013 what is a graduation speech? Mostly it is an … Continue reading Commencement Address by John Katzenbach<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_s2mail":"yes","footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[166,153,165,164],"class_list":["post-462","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-commencement-address","tag-173rd-commencement","tag-class-of-2013","tag-commencement","tag-john-katzenbach"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/willistonblogs.com\/speeches\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/462"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/willistonblogs.com\/speeches\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/willistonblogs.com\/speeches\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/willistonblogs.com\/speeches\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/willistonblogs.com\/speeches\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=462"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/willistonblogs.com\/speeches\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/462\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":467,"href":"https:\/\/willistonblogs.com\/speeches\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/462\/revisions\/467"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/willistonblogs.com\/speeches\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=462"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/willistonblogs.com\/speeches\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=462"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/willistonblogs.com\/speeches\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=462"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}