Editor’s Note: Richard Monopoli ’89 presented the following speech during an Upper School assembly on April 30, 2014. Read the article about the talk here.
I want to thank Bob Hill, Eric Yates, Sharon Davenport for letting me join you guys today. I really appreciate it. As Bob noted, I graduated 25 years ago this spring and my 25th Reunion is really special because my niece, Miss Alexandra Lewis, is a six-year senior this year. Williston has played a big part in my family’s life, and we are really attached to this school, we love this place, but I’ll get back to that in a minute.
So when I found out that I could to come speak to you all, I asked myself what would I have liked to know when I was a senior. If I could go back in time and talk to myself as senior what would I say? Particularly if I only had 10 minutes. That’s a really tough question…but I’ll give it a shot.
I NEED A VOLUNTEER…I need a guy to play me in 1989….
You will experience great success over the next 25 years and you will experience great challenge. Success is easy, enjoy it. How we respond to life’s challenges though, is what distinguishes us.
You will go to to college, graduate school, work, go to graduate school again, You will meet a girl, you will fall in love, you will get married, and you’ll get pregnant. That’s the success part…
The challenge part is this…the day before you have your first baby, your wife Sara will be diagnosed with advanced stage, inoperable lung cancer, the next day, you’ll have the baby (her name is Vivian), you will watch Vivian get stronger and learn to roll over, while Sara gets weaker until, eight months later, Sara will lose her battle with lung cancer. Sara was 35 years old, never smoked, had no symptoms and was otherwise in perfect health. So now, you are a single parent with an eight month old. So what do you do? This is the hard part… How will you respond?
People will rally around you, your family, your niece Allie and provide you with tremendous support. Your four idiot buddies from Willy Prep class of 1989 will get on planes, they will fly to Boston and take care of you too. One of your buddies will send you 40 macaroons on your 40th birthday just to show he cares. Who does that?
But you need to find a way to learn from and make this experience meaningful. So you will look outward:
You will join a grassroots organization called Lung Cancer Alliance,
You will start an annual awareness event called Shine a Light on Lung Cancer, at which you light up the top of the Prudential Center in Boston and 500 people will join you every year to talk about lung cancer advocacy, It will become the flagship event in a global movement and pretty soon, you will see 135 shine a light events across the country and on three continents.
You will lobby congress and become a powerful advocate for federal funding for lung cancer research and in 2013 you will get a law passed that requires the National Institute of Health to focus major research dollars on the deadliest cancer, lung cancer.
And even though it is hard, you will continue to share Sara’s story. You will share her story with Dr. Atul Gawande author and columnist with The New Yorker. His article “Letting Go” about end of life issues will change the national discourse about the importance of hospice care and terminal illnesses.
Then you will get remarried to an amazing woman named Molly and you will be expecting another baby the day you go to visit the Williston Class of 2014.
The point being you will survive life’s challenges and you will be better for it. The things you thought were really important and the things you took for granted in 1989 have flipped 25 years later. Life can be challenging, respond proactively, try to keep things in perspective, and learn from every challenge.
Willy Prep is a special place with special people that will rally around you when you really need them. Stay connected to the school and give back with your time and/or treasure. Congratulations to Allie and the class of 2014 and good luck guys.